Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I am Indian, and my husband is white. His family lives a few hours away in a majority-white area of the state and are mostly liberal, but there have been times I’ve felt like they see me as the representative for every Indian ever, and it’s tiring. For example, his aunt has asked me multiple times what to cook for her son’s Indian friend, since she doesn’t want to “confuse him” with American food. Upon talking to her about him, I learned he was actually adopted from India and had lived here his whole life, and told her to just ask him his favorite food. Or I get relatives asking me if I naturally know yoga or can teach them how to make “authentic chai from my home country” (I’ve spent my whole life in the USA).
Whenever something like this happens, I’ve tried to explain why I’m not an expert on India, that it’s very diverse and multicultural, etc., because I felt like they were genuinely curious and didn’t know better, as many of them have spent their entire lives in mainly white places. I also try to remind myself that a lot of them are firm Democrats and are passionate about equality, they just… need more educating in some areas.
I’m currently six months pregnant with our first child (a girl) and was telling my MIL about the…
